Esoteric Domination by Mistress Jasmine

I’ve talked a lot about communication in regard to interests, limits, expectations of the sub, etc. , but today I’d like to address a less often discussed interest: Domination Styles. 

Those unfamiliar with or new to BDSM may have a very limited view of what a Mistress’s “personality” is; they may picture the stern, cruel, “mean” disciplinarian and assume that’s how every Mistress presents. 

In reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Whilst that type of persona or aspects of it may be inherent in many Dommes, most of us are not that one dimensional. 

I’m sure some Dommes have a preferred style that they tend to stick with, which is perfectly fine – the most important thing in this lifestyle is to go with what you enjoy and what feels natural. 

However, many Dommes, myself included, are multifaceted and can enjoy embracing different aspects of their personalities for different types of sessions. 

So what are some different types of Mistress personas/ Domination styles? 

Well of course as previously mentioned, there is the Stern, Cruel, Disciplinarian. There is also The Sadist, The Mean Humiliatrix, The Nurturing/ Mommy Domme, The Playful Domme, The Sensual Domme, The Brat Tamer. 

Let’s talk a bit more about what these styles can entail. As I previously stated, the most common view of a Mistress from the “general public” is the Stern, Cruel, Disciplinarian. And certainly this is an enjoyable role for a Mistress to take, and one often preferred by subs. But the misconception of this role can be that the Mistress is aloof, cold, “mean”, never to crack a smile or express any praise to the sub, to treat the sub in a degrading manner. But that’s not really accurate, unless of course that type of scene was what was negotiated previously. A Mistress can be stern and strict, applying the needed discipline, being firm and decisive in the orders given to the sub, whilst also thoroughly enjoying the session, not afraid to smile as she administers her discipline. To acknowledge when the slave has behaved in a way that pleases her. And, to reward the slave for good behaviour. This type of style I can certainly enjoy, and often utilise. 

Then there is The Sadist. In this style, your pain is my pleasure. The bottom may not even necessarily be submissive, but could just be a masochist or “pain slut” who genuinely enjoys receiving pain. Though not as common a request, I do always appreciate my masochists who give me their body as a canvas to fully let loose my sadistic side. 

The “Mean Humiliatrix” is the persona I embrace for those who really want to be degraded. This will involve a lot of verbal humiliation, perhaps also physical humiliation, and often going into areas of degradation, objectification, etc. One disclaimer; pre-session communication for this type of scene must be very thorough and limits clearly defined. There is a fine line between what one may find humiliating in a “kinky” way and what may actually be psychologically damaging to a person. 

Next, let’s talk about The Nurturing or “Mommy” Domme. The Nurturing Domme is gentle and caring, but still in control. When I hold space as a Mommy Domme, I give my sub the safety to be vulnerable and submissive to a woman who will help them feel better and secure. To gently control and show interest in their well-being. To give encouragement, and praise when deserved. Though it is quite a contrast from the previously discussed styles, it is an aspect of myself that I welcome being able to embrace when the scene calls for it. 

Next we’ll discuss The Playful Domme. This is the persona that may include games and challenges into your session. She will gleefully torture you with a smile on her face, letting out an evil giggle as you squirm or cry out in pain. She truly enjoys what she’s doing to you, and isn’t afraid to show it with a big smile on her face whilst she pounds away with her strapon. She’s having fun and it’s obvious. I think aspects of this persona come out in me regardless of the session type, because I do truly enjoy what I do. 

Now let’s discuss The Sensual Domme. As someone who has studied Tantra and other healing arts, I always welcome the opportunity to express this aspect of myself. A sensual session will of course be a light session not usually involving any pain. My Kinkyassge is a perfect example of a sensual session. The scene will usually consist of softer activities, but it is still very clear that The Sensual Domme is in control. She holds your pleasure in the palm of her hand and will use your sensory responses to melt you into a puddle of bliss, just begging for her every touch, knowing that she has full control of you through your pleasure sensations. 

Finally, let’s talk about The Brat Tamer. A brat sub is a sub who acts purposely defiant in order to elicit punishment. It can certainly be a fun role to engage in, but, big disclaimer here: a brat play scene should always always be discussed and planned in detail ahead of time. Don’t ever show up to your Mistress and decide to take on a brat role without her knowing that’s what you’re doing. If I’ve never seen you before and you show up to a session behaving as a brat without having told me that was the type of scene you wanted, I’m probably just going to think your being an arsehole and kick you out of my dungeon. Even if you’re someone I’ve seen before but who has never done brat play or discussed it with me and shows up acting like that, I would likely think you’re either intoxicated or losing your mind, and again kick you out of my dungeon. 

So, with that in mind, should you want to play a brat sub, we need to discuss this in detail. I need to make sure we are on the same page as to what brat behaviour can entail. The brat role is generally more playful, and should never be used as an excuse to be blatantly rude or genuinely disrespectful. Just as subs have limits, Dommes have limits too, so the things you would like to do or say as a brat should be clarified to ensure they do not go against your Domme’s limits. This is especially the case involving anything physical to the Domme. For example, you may get the idea in your head as a brat to give a grab or smack to your Domme’s bottom, thinking this will get you the punishment of your life. But at least for me personally, that would be crossing a boundary/ hard limit for me, which would take me out of the scene and out of Mistress headspace and therefore unable to continue with the scene. So, once again, communication is key. 

So there we are, you now have some ideas of the types of Domination styles that are available and the styles I can enjoy. And of course, it’s also common for me to incorporate several different styles in one session, as some of them blend together quite nicely. 

Now I know many subs don’t have a specific type in mind, just a general Dominant/ Mistress role, or to leave it to my discretion which styles to incorporate based on given interests and the “energy” of the session, and that is perfectly normal and fine. 

But, if you do have a specific Dominantion style in mind, be sure to mention that along with your other interests. I always welcome the opportunity to fully embrace one of the many different aspects of my being.